I have a loud sex neighbor. It’s not all the time, but when it happens, I feel like drinking bleach. I’m not sure why bleach always comes to mind—I guess it’s the cleanest thing I can think of. I can’t get mad at them though, because when I have sex I’m pretty loud too. Not everyone, however, shares this logic. The following is a REAL letter a friend of mine received from his own angry neighbor. Enjoy!
Dear Fellow Resident,
Over the past 3 months there have been loud noises coming from your apartment consistently 2-4 times a week around 2:30 AM. As you know, noise carries throughout the building due to the old heating pipes and structure of the building. To be specific: the noise is a loud squeaking of the bed and yelling. While what goes on in your unit is none of my business, loud noises around 2:30 AM wake residents up and make it very hard to function at work due to loss of sleep. If the noise was during the weekends only or during weekdays around 10-11 pm, there would be no issues. But Sunday nights, and weeknights, are making it hard to sleep and function at work.
Thank you in advance for your consideration in this manner.
Lindsey Gentile is an actor, writer, comedienne, and all-around gal-about-town. Every Thursday, she reports from the front lines of single life in NYC. Check out her website HERE. Need more Big City Siren? No problem.
