More hardship for our friend Marjorie, who has had more than her share. This article appeared in today's Times about her son Shaun, who disappeared earlier this month.

Here's a link to the article:

[www.nytimes.com]

Here's the text:

Holding Out Hope for a Missing Son
By Jim Dwyer

Here is living room furniture with the memories locked in, waiting for release:

An upright piano gives way to 50 folding chairs, each fitted with a cushioned seat, set up in neat rows that run into the hallway of Apartment 3F, 555 Edgecombe Avenue in Harlem. This has been the home of Marjorie Eliot for 29 years. And for the last 18 of them, she has presented live jazz in her parlor, 52 Sundays a year, 4 p.m. sharp-ish. City Lore declared her a New York landmark. The French sent a documentary maker. The guidebooks have steered tourists to her. On Friday morning, a tray of granola bars has already been lined up for the next wave of visitors.

After having thousands of people traipse through her home over the years, Ms. Eliot, not surprisingly, has developed a cheerful reticence on certain subjects. Her age. The ex-husband.

So it had taken her a full day to organize her emotions for what she intended to speak about Friday.

She nodded to a shelf near the piano. A month ago, the youngest of her five sons, Shaun, celebrated his 32nd birthday. He got a recorder, the simple woodwind instrument, as a gift.

“He said he wanted to learn the flute,” Ms. Eliot said. An accomplished pianist and teacher, she knew quite well that a recorder was not nearly a flute, and a flicker of smile crossed her face.

On the morning of Feb. 9, Shaun Eliot boarded the M101 bus on Amsterdam Avenue at 160th Street, a few blocks from home. He had $10, a MetroCard with a day or two of rides left on it. He wore a black leather jacket and blue jeans; his hair was braided. His face, a recent picture shows, is that of a man who looks much younger than 32. He stood 5-11 and weighed 255 pounds.

He vanished.

“He was going to a transition house on Wards Island,” Ms. Eliot said. “He was with me on weekends, and came to visit a day here and there.”

Shaun has mental illness, not diagnosed with a specificity that Ms. Eliot credits, and emotional problems, after the deaths of two brothers, that she believes were not given attention in the treatment he received. He has been medicated since being sent to the first of three psychiatric hospitals more than five years ago. “They don’t do talk therapy anymore,” she said. “It’s like Freud never existed.”

He was released to transitional housing last summer, and was making progress with a tutor, Ms. Eliot said. After coming home for an appointment with the family doctor two weeks ago, he stayed over an extra night with his mother to avoid returning to Wards Island during a siege of frigid weather.

“He still didn’t want to go back,” she said, “but I made him.”

Her conversation here is an act of faith in the people who may see his picture and get help if they spot him. “My hesitancy in talking about this was that people so judge, and they see this as, ‘Uh-oh, someone’s crazy,’ ” she said.

Her son Phil died in 1992, at 32, from debilitating kidney problems. His death came on a Sunday, and she began the concerts as a bridge past the day; the music became a prayer that answered itself. In 2006, another son, Michael, 47, fell ill with meningitis; his health collapsed and he died. Ms. Eliot was raised as a regular churchgoer — “we weren’t fanatics, but Sundays we went to church” — and still has faith, though not in a particular house of worship.

When each of her sons became sick, she said: “Oh no. Not my kid, that’s not going to happen.”

As their illnesses progressed, she found that letting go allowed her to be present for what was happening, not locked every moment into her own longing. “Just trying to make that day pretty,” she said. “I’d pray: ‘God, I don’t want to bargain with you, but I want to be there. Please let me be there. I won’t ask for anything else.’ So I was holding Michael and Phil when they left.”

Shaun’s disappearance has forced her to renegotiate. “Now, I say: ‘God, I promised I wouldn’t ask for anything else. Here I go again. Please give me a chance to be a better mother to him.’ ”

On Sunday, she will ring the buzzer again, as the guests arrive. When the concert ends, she said, she will give each a flier with Shaun’s picture.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2011 05:49PM by askanewyorker.

I can't imagine what she must be going through, she has had more than enough trauma to deal with. I hope he's found safe and well soon, and that the fliers reap rewards

Thanks for sharing Oracle, and yes Kazza this just breaks my heart. I will drop her a note. I am glad the Times published this, hopefully something will come of it. My heart will be with her in spirit on Sunday.

The poor thing, my heart goes out to her. I hope they find him soon.

My "mother's prayers" are with this Amazing, Wonderful Mother. May God bless her with the return of her son, and a return of his "whole-health." They both certainly deserve this, at a minimum. May they also be blessed with His "Peace that Passes Understanding," which she so obviously seems to already enjoy. xoxo Hugs to her.

Just spoke to Marjorie,
She explained we are on day 30 that Shawn has been missing. Please if any one has any information contact Marjorie 212-781-6595 or the 33rd precinct 212-927-3200.

I just heard from Rudel - Shaun's brother- on Facebook and Shaun is home! No details of when or anything else but the relief was obvious in his message. What a great outcome

Thank you so much for sharing the good news, KT!

This does my heart good.

Here's The Times' story:

[cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2011 01:51PM by askanewyorker.

Wonderful news.