by:

On a hot day, late in summer, I was walking over to Gramercy Park to speak
to Ray Tempus. I met him there a few days before, selling his book called A
Forty Point Guide to Peeing in New York. I’m planning to take him out
to lunch. As I approached, Ray was holding a portfolio.

AskaNewYorker: Hi Ray. How’s it going? What do you have there?

Ray: Hi. These are images of the paintings that I did from 1999-2001. The reason
I have these are because they are the last ones that were showcased on a continuous
basis. The first body of work that you see is titled “The Time Enigma”.
All the images are within the “Body of Time” enigma, and have clocks
and/or sundials, that is, a time instrument. But, they never have hands because
the theory “Time Enigma” is that time is non-dimensional and it
doesn’t exist because it is all that does exist. It is one of those paradoxical
things that can’t be proven wrong, so I may as well say it. It sounds
like I have some sense.

AskaNewYorker: And I was just going to take you out to lunch.

Ray: Again, my theory of Time Enigma is non-dimensional. It is considered the
fourth dimension. If it is dimensional, then dimensionality is spatial by its
definition. If there’s a beginning and end or a non-beginning and non-end,
then what was just prior to the beginning? What was prior to the Big Bang? If
you have to go with theology, what was prior to the creation of the Earth? There
is no such thing as never. Because there was time, therefore time is non-dimensional.
If space is dimensional, time is non-dimensional.

AskaNewYorker: That’s deep. Let’s go have lunch at Pete’s
Tavern. (Ray continues to explain time) Who the hell are you?

Ray: I don’t know. But my father, whom I’m very close to, knows
me better than anyone. No one could possibly know me better. He says it kind
of like this, he says, “You know, he’s a hard one to figure”.
I don’t know exactly what he means. I don’t have a clue. It’s
all pretty simple to me. It’s all sort of on the fly. Smoothly, quietly.
But, I don’t know. It’s kind of like thinking, it’s kind of
like time.

AskaNewYorker: Tell me about the book you’ve written, A Forty Point Guide
to Peeing in New York. I love it! The illustrations are amazing.

Ray: It was done kind of as one person’s response to the indignity of
this attempted implementation of a police state. We’ve got into this whole
quality of life issue. And we all know how that started. I got a ticket for
public urination. It was really under the most ridiculous of circumstances.
So ridiculous, in fact, that I flatly refused to respond to it. So I took it
to court. And it was thrown out for lack of evidence. So I’m thinking,
they actually have to take the pee with them to court as evidence. It was raining,
and there was no evidence that I was peeing! It was thrown out of court. This
book is in response to that event. It is my response to just ridiculousness.
It’s almost like it insults that institutional thing that is putting this
blanket over our civil liberties. Sure, you’re not supposed to pee on
the sidewalk or anything like that, sure enough. However, given adequate precautions,
given proper respect to all of society, I mean, there are certain things you’ve
got to overlook. You’ve got to realize that in New York, there’s
no where to pee. No public restrooms, none. It has been proposed by two mayors,
probably three, that New York needs permanent “rest stations”. New
York is a pedestrian city. You have to walk, and sometimes long distances. For
instance, if you are at a meeting having your coffee or whatever, and you don’t
necessarily have to pee while you’re there, and you have to leave to get
somewhere else quickly. You’re going to have to pee before you get there.
And once you’re in motion, you’re really going to have to pee. You
gotta go, period. If you do this in a way that is non-offensive, not even noticed
by others, then you got game. You should be able to do that. That should be
a non-issue. So, when I got ticketed for this, I just realized that you kind
of have to be a little bit more “cloak and dagger” about it. So,
I played this little game. I was sitting and thinking and then I had to pee
because I was sitting waiting for someone. I was sitting in my car. But you
know, you can’t pee in your car. It was a desolate street. I was the only
one parked on that street. It was getting dark. So I just walked down the street
and just peed. I thought, “I’m going to do a pee book”.

AskaNewYorker: It really is a great, witty book. I love it. My wife has taken
many pointers. Anyway, I understand you spent some time on Wall Street.

Ray: Oh, what an experience that was! I refer to it as the time when I was
a crook. See, when you’re young, you think you’re going to get this
Wall Street thing going, with all the mahogany desks, Cuban stogies, all that.
Well, in the end I did end up making more money than the average Joe just out
of school, but it’s really a hustle. Your knowledge of the stock market
has nothing to do with anything. All you need to know is how to say the same
sales pitch over and over and over, no matter how many times you get hung up
on, and eventually somebody will hear you all the way through. And you tell
them to send the check, and they do. You find your ways to get people involved
in the market, but over time you build yourself a little book, a little business.
I was in high risk venture capital, which means basically that you are stealing
people’s money and pouring it down some drain. I wasn’t about that.
I was an artist. My real idea was to make a lot of money doing that, so launching
my brilliant career won’t be so painful, so I won’t be like the
starving artist and broken. That was the idea. It didn’t work out quite
that way.

AskaNewYorker: I know you paint, too. How would you describe your painting
style?

Ray: I’d describe it as neo-expressionistic.

AskaNewYorker: Any advice for aspiring painters?

Ray: What I learned for a technique for portrait painting: If you are working
from a photograph, you turn the painting upside down. Because that way, what
you’re working from are shapes. It is no longer a face. So, you are not
trying to capture the essence of a person or a sparkle in the eye or anything.
You are basically duplicating shapes, to see if they are balanced upside down.

AskaNewYorker: Thanks a lot, Ray. Let me tell everyone, your work can be seen
at Galleria on Third at 529 Third Ave and that your book can be purchased by
calling 1-888-641-2435 or by mail from One Temptation Press, 545 8th Ave #401,
New York, NY 10018-4307, and the cost is $10. Excerpts from a book review by
Peter Plagens, Newsweek Magazine Art Critic, are below:

“Have you ever had to relieve yourself in New York City and searched
in vain for a public restroom until your back teeth were floating?….A 40 Point
Guide to Peeing in New York by Ray Tempus tells you in hilarious words and uncensored
pictures how you-man or woman, old or young, can take care of bodily business,
get away with it, and actually have some fun doing it…..Ray Tempus is
a painter/sculptor and former stockbroker who knows the streetwise ways of the
city…A 40 Point Guide to Peeing in New York reveals sophisticated New
Yorkers’ secrets to using automobiles and mailboxes as shields, taking
advantage of construction scaffolds and raincoats, and employing conversations
with imaginary friends as cover. The instructions are clear as a bell. Each
of the book’s forty points is illustrated with one of Tempus’s nonpareil
drawings…As essential as a street map, as convenient as a Metrocard.”

Ray’s home page picture taken by Katherine Davis, Rolling Stone photographer
1996-1997

 

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