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Listen, break-ups suck. They suck when your ex is the biggest asshole in the world because you’re left thinking, Why did I date such an asshole? How could my friends let me date such an asshole? They suck when your ex is the nicest guy in the world because you’re left thinking, How am I going to… Read more »

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Happy belated Valentine’s day to all the Big City Sirens out there. This year, I actually have a Valentine, and it even has a penis! The relationship is new, so I thought I’d go over a few new relationship tips because girls are, well, stupid. I’m stupid, you’re stupid, we’re all stupid. And if you… Read more »

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I really, really liked my last relationship. The guy was awesome. We fell for each other instantly and were super compatible. He cooked, he had a huge stuffed dinosaur next to his bed that wore funky sunglasses, and he loved to take pictures of his poop—a total catch! The only problem was that he had… Read more »