by:

Ask a New Yorker: Bruce
Engel, past New Yorker of the Month
, asked me to meet him at the Greenmarket…

Bruce: Irish father, Italian mother. John loves his Italian grandmother.

Ask a New Yorker: Alright Bruce, its John’s moment. Where should we start,
where do you live?

John: I’m a New Yorker. Patchogue, Long Island but I was conceived in
Queens. I think it was either Sunnyside or Woodside.

Ask a New Yorker: What else?

John: I was in the deli business for over 20 years. I drove celebrities around
the Hamptons. They were all very nice. I was very close to becoming a Donna
Karan underwear model. My favorite celebrity story was just to hear Kathleen
Turner talk. To hear her say,’Johny’ (laughter) she was sweet. It
was all good. I met Mary Poppins, Julie Andrews. That was a highlight. Christy
Brinkley, a bunch of them. I worked for a car service in the Hamptons for four
years full time. It was really great. Bruce Springsteen, I drove him for a few
minutes and he gave me a very generous tip.

Ask a New Yorker: How many cars have you owned?

John: I’ve owned over one hundred cars.

Ask a New Yorker: What’s that about?

John: I just have a thing for cars, old classic cars. Lot’s of 60’s
and 70’s cars. My first car was a 1962 Chevy Tube, got it for $100.

Ask a New Yorker: I was talking about the difficulty of ‘change’
today, positive change takes lots of effort.

John: If you want to see a change you’ve got to make one. For me it’s
coffee and cigarettes. They’ve got to go. My grand-mother Viola was very
dear to me died of emphysema.. My brother had malignant lymphoma, thank God
he’s fine. There’s heart disease in the family too. Bruce over here,
who I just met for the first time today, came up and put a whole new twist on
things. I’m looking at things a lot differently. By the way, this is like
the perfect corner to make this life change.

Ask a New Yorker: Bruce starts talking and we segway into guinea hens.

John: I live in the country, in West Hampton, farm land. There are a lot of
ticks. And a lot of people out there have lime disease. So I heard that these
guinea hens eat ticks. So I started out with six guinea hens and now have over
fifty. They’re great pets. I heard in Scotland they guard the scotch when
somebody comes around the hens start clicking around.

Ask a New Yorker: They’re good eating too.

John: Oprah Winfrey served them at her birthday party. That’s what I read.
I never tried a guinea hen. I hear it’s all dark meat.

Ask a New Yorker: We’re warming up. What else?

John: I got hit by a train in a car at an unguarded crossing. I said to my friend,
who was driving to be careful, unguarded crossing, we stopped. He saw the train
but somehow the car went forward and took the front of the car off. I had a
cup of coffee in my hand and I didn’t spill a drop. It wasn’t my
time to go, right in East Port by West Hampton. This happened about twenty years
ago before my daughter was born. I’ve been shot at over at Bridgeport
Ferry. Some guy was shooting at us. I don’t know why. A cop out ran me
taking his uniform off so the guy shooting couldn’t pick him out as a
cop. It was the most amazing thing.

Ask a New Yorker: Guinea Hens, The Boss, Train wrecks. You’ve led a colorful
life.

John: I turned 48 yesterday. I’m very excited about the future. Back to
Bruce and his dog Butch. Bruce really put some things in a new light. What was
the word, depreciation? In other words I’m losing value of my health.

Ask a New Yorker: It’s time for your health to appreciate in value. Stop
smoking. Give me a little Long Island geography lesson.

John: West Hampton, South Hampton, Bridge Hampton, East Hampton, Amaganset,
and then Montauk. Those are the big towns.

Ask a New Yorker: What’s your most prominent feature?

John. My eyebrows, I’ve got the unibrow. Every day when I shave I shave
the brow too.

Ask a New Yorker: What’s the story with the fish?

John: We’re Seatuck Fish Company. We come from Eastern Long Island in
East Port right next to West Hampton. My buddy is a fisherman and catches all
this fish and we bring it in here and sell it. We’re here on Tuesday.
(E. 10th St. and 2nd Ave)

Ask a New Yorker: What note should we end this on?

John: There’s no better place to be at this point in my life this time
of year than being in New York City. It’s the capital of the world. I
mean really. I’m right in the center. You have it all the best food, the
most beautiful women. There’s nothing missing.

Ask a New Yorker: Thanks John.

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