Doorman Christmas gifts

Posted by michellekjohnson 
Doorman Christmas gifts
November 11, 2005 10:51AM
Hi,

I moved to New York from England last year. I would like to know if anyone knows the etiquette for giving doorman gifts / tips at Christmas. What is the normal amount? do you give it at Thanksgiving or Christmas? Thanks in advance, I don't want to give too little but equally not an excessive amount. Just to give you an idea, we have 4 regular doorman, one super & 2 handymen.

Thanks in advance
Michelle.
Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
November 11, 2005 11:52AM
Check with your neighbors. Typically you make one gift (just for Christmas) that's divvied up among the staff.

Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
November 12, 2005 08:07PM
My dad is a doorman. He gets "gifts" from individual tenanats and its generally cash.

In the building I work in we tip everyone individually.

Remember this....not all the staff gets along. I know there is some riff at my fathers job btwn some guys who don't have nearly as much seniority as my father & others. You don't want the wrong person getting the entire amount & trusting this person to divide it accordingly. If it were me, I would give out individually. I just don't trust people, even the ones are supposed to be in charge.

Now I know my father would do the right thing, but I can't say that for some of the shrewd SOB's he works w/.

Hey just my opinion.
Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
November 13, 2005 07:33AM
Got to strongly agree with bxgrl74!!!

If I give the gift to all, then I would make everyone know that the money
changed hands and who has it.

For example, I tip the movers after a move. I make
sure to do it at the end when they're about to leave
and that all the guys see that I gave
the tip to the foreman of the group.

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stay in NJ to visit NYC --> [www.broadwayfocus.com]
Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
November 13, 2005 10:30AM
Thank you very much for your replies everyone, sounds like it would be safer to tip everyone individually.

Thanks again
Michelle.
Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
November 13, 2005 05:47PM
We used to tip our guys (10 in our building) altogether, we gave it to the guy who was in charge but they all seemed friendly with each other and as we were thanked by each of them we assumed they all got it, but at least individually you are sure.
Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
November 13, 2005 06:07PM
I'm happy this subject came up as this is also my first Christmas in New York. How much do you usually tip per person? Does it depend on the size of the building (ours is about 100 apartments)? Do you give equal amounts to everyone? For example, one of our doormen spends all his time sitting on a chair and never looks up from his magazine whenever we pass. Should I tip him?
Do you just hand them the money or do you out it in an envelope with a Christmas card?
Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
November 14, 2005 12:19AM
Because there were 10 we limited it to $50 each and put it in a Xmas card thanking them for all their care (they were all wonderful) and then put that in an envelope.
Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
November 16, 2005 02:43PM
In todays Daily News
[www.nydailynews.com]

New York Daily News - [www.nydailynews.com]
Tips on holiday tipping
By JEAN CHATZKY
DAILY NEWS PERSONAL FINANCE COLUMNIST
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005

Last week, the Christmas tree rolled into Rockefeller Center, as sure a sign as any that the holidays are once again, upon us. And with that, of course, comes the annual debate: Who gets tipped? And how much do you give them?
I have, over the years, developed my own rules about this sort of thing, but every once in a while I like a little affirmation that I'm still on target. So, I spoke with "The Ethics Guy" Bruce Weinstock, author of "Life Principles: Feeling Good by Doing Good." Here's how the conversation went.

Q. Why is there so much confusion about tipping?

A. People feel they have an obligation to tip around the holidays. In fact, there is no ethical obligation to give cash. There is an ethical obligation to express our gratitude to people who clean our apartments, cut our hair, walk our animals. But we don't have to tip everyone who helps us. If we tipped everyone who helps us, we'd be broke.

Q. So, how do you figure out who gets tipped and who doesn't?

A. The hospitality industry - restaurants and hotels - is the only industry that counts on tips as an important part of employee compensation. If you don't tip, they don't make a living wage. In other cases, it's up to you. But you should really consider those people who provide you with a regular service.

Q. For example, housekeepers and baby-sitters, the parking attendant at your regular garage, your manicurist or massage therapist, the superintendent, doormen and porters in your apartment building, the newspaper delivery person?

A. Right.

Q. Are there people who should not be tipped?

A. It is illegal for postal employees to accept cash. (They are, however, allowed to accept noncash gifts of up to $20 in value.) School teachers, too, though they aren't often tipped, are sometimes restricted in how expensive a gift they're allowed to accept. Some schools impose rules like this to avoid favoritism in the classroom.

Q. Let's get down to the nitty gritty. How much should you give them? I always try to adhere to what I call "the rule of one or two," meaning you give the equivalent of one or two visits (if you're talking about a hairdresser or personal trainer) or one or two weeks pay (if you're talking about a baby-sitter or housekeeper).

A. It depends on so many variables including the going rate in your community. What you'd give a doorman on the upper East Side is different than what you'd give someone caring for your cat in the Midwest. The more someone has helped you, the more they deserve to be thanked.

Q. What if you're having a tough time financially this year? Should you explain it?

A. No, you don't owe it to your doorman to explain that you just lost your job or filed bankruptcy. Instead, try to say thank you in a way that you can afford. Maybe you can offer to tutor a child in math or chess. Maybe you can offer baby-sitting services. If the person who went above and beyond to help you works for a company, write a letter to his or her employer detailing their great effort. To some people, tips like these are even more meaningful than money because they show you took some extra care or thought.


Considering your budget...

Now is the time to budget for tip-giving, said Peggy Post of the Emily Post Institute. She is the great-granddaughter-in-law of fabled etiquette expert Emily Post.

Expect to spend hundreds of dollars in end-of-the-year gifts for the service providers who make your life a little easier.

Take special care in choosing gifts for the folks who care for your child, Post advises. For instance, when you buy a gift for your baby-sitter, "it's a nice idea to have your child pick it out," she said.

Remember to do some sleuthing before reaching into your wallet for the tips. If you live in an apartment building, "find out what the neighbors do," Post said. Who are the service providers most often overlooked, who deserve a tip? The newspaper delivery guy.

Who should you stiff this year? "The person who gives you service with a snarl," Post said.

Phyllis Furman

Making a list


Au pair: A gift from your family, or one-week's pay, plus a small gift from your child.

Baby-sitter: One evening's pay, plus a small gift from your child.

Barber: Cost of one haircut, and/or gift.

Beauty salon staffers: $10 to $60 each, giving most to those who provide the most service.

Child's teacher: Check your school's policy first. Give a gift, not cash. Ideas: gift certificate to a coffee shop or book; fruit basket or picture frame.

Dog walker: One week's pay and/or a gift.

Garage attendants: $10 to $30 each.

Housekeeper: One day's pay.

Mail carrier: Government regulations permit carriers to accept gifts worth up to $20 each, but not cash.

Nanny: One week's to one month's salary based on tenure, plus a small gift from your child.

Newspaper deliverer: $10 to $30.

Super: $25 to $100.

Doorman: $10 to $80.

Handyman: $15 to $40.
Trash collector: $10 to $30 each (for private service); for municipal service, check local regulations.

Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
November 25, 2005 08:23PM
Last year in our building we gave from $20-$100 to each person depending upon how well we knew someone, their level of service, and their position.

We mostly stayed in the low to middle end, but gave our favorite doorman the $100. We didn't even want to tip the super because he's really not that attentive and doesn't really know how to fix anything, but we thought that would be a bad idea, so I think we gave him $40-$50 and honestly it made NO difference. If anything, the service got worse, so this year, NOTHING. I was thinking of putting $1 in an envelope, just so he got the message, but that kind of goes against the whole holiday spirit thing. I found some people, like the porter and the lady who cleans around the building, were very grateful for $20, so even if you're not sure who someone is, they may play a behind-the-scenes role we don't even know about!

Our management office gives us a list of everyone's name and what shift they work, and we give them cards with the cash in them. Hope this helps.
Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
November 28, 2005 02:29PM
thanks Greeba,

that's really helpful.

Michelle.
Meg
Re: Doorman Christmas gifts
December 14, 2005 11:00AM
All of this information is really helpful, but... I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed by the amount of money I feel I should be giving. The apartment building I live in has approximately 300 apartments. I received a holiday card from the building staff with all of their names and respective positions within the staff. There's 1 super, 3 handymen, 5 concierge, and 13 porters. In total, there are 22 people that I barely even know or know what they do.

There are a few standouts- those who hand me packages from behind the front desk if they've arrived or say hello to me and my dog as I pass by. Everyone is friendly and always smiling. However, there's rarely a door opened for me - even when my arms are full of groceries. But all in all, the building is run extremely well- no matter who is making that happen.

My building offers a collection box for holiday gift envelopes. Is it expected that I put one envelope full of cash in there for the entire staff to divvy up? And if so, how much? 22 people is a big bunch and I'm not a wealthy individual.

I want to say thank you to everyone for making my living experience at my building a pleasure- whether it's noticed or behind the scenes. Any recommendations?

Thanks!
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